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These skills provide a foundation for many other social and emotional skills by allowing us to understand what others share with us – a friend messaging information about where to meet up, a partner sharing their feelings about a great day, a singer expressing heartbreak through their music – as well as being able to share ourselves with the world. This means expressing who we are in many different ways to effectively share what we know, how we are feeling, and what we are thinking with the people around us.

These skills are:

  • Listen to and understand others
  • Express ourselves

Why do these skills matter for a happy and healthy life?

Effective communication is essential for building strong relationships. Communication is about ‘give and take’, i.e. understanding others and sharing our own thoughts and feelings clearly. Being able to do both fosters empathy, trust and mutual understanding in our relationships.

By listening attentively and observing non-verbal cues, we can better grasp what other people want and need: this might be a friend explaining plans, a partner expressing emotions, or a colleague sharing important information. Listening to and having a shared focus with another person connects us to them. It helps people to feel understood and valued. It is also important to recognise communication differences and to appreciate variations in norms. We should take steps to be inclusive when communicating with others, especially with people whose style may be different to our own but just as valid.

Expressing ourselves is equally important, as it allows us to share our emotions, ideas, and needs with others. Whether through conversation, writing, or other forms of expression, being able to articulate what we are feeling or thinking helps us feel heard and validated. These communication skills enable us to connect with others, resolve conflicts, and collaborate effectively, which are vital skills in both our personal and working lives. Communication skills improve our social connections, which enhance our health and happiness.

We asked experts in the field to share their thoughts

Find out more about the other clusters of skills within the framework:

Know ourselves

Know ourselves

Who we are as individuals

Manage our emotions

Manage our emotions

How we understand, process and manage our emotions

Focus our thoughts

Focus our thoughts

How we effectively learn, work and manage life

Nuture our relationships

Nuture our relationships

How we get along and build relationships with others

Explore the world

Explore the world

How we explore and discover the world around us

The Shaping Us Framework – Full report

The Full Report describes the framework in detail and outlines how skills develop in early childhood.

The Shaping Us Framework –  Technical report

The Technical Report explains how the framework was created and the research that underpins it.

The Shaping Us Framework – Short guide

The Short Guide gives a quick description of each cluster of skills and why they matter.