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Guest Essay 02/02/2025

Why we need a lifespan approach to developing social and emotional skills

Author: Marc Brackett, Professor and Founding Director, Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, USA

Taking a lifespan perspective to the development of social and emotional skills such as self-awareness and emotion regulation is essential for fostering well-rounded, resilient individuals who are equipped to navigate life’s challenges.

By understanding how social and emotional skills develop across the lifespan, particularly through co-regulation with caregivers and peers, we can better support healthy development and improve outcomes in health, relationships, and overall success.

The foundation for social and emotional skills is first established in childhood. The early years are a sensitive period for brain development, during which the brain’s plasticity makes it particularly receptive to learning new ways of managing emotions. Research shows that infants and toddlers learn to regulate their emotions through interactions with caregivers, a process called co-regulation. In co-regulation, caregivers help children calm down during distressing situations with their tone of voice, gentle touch, and modeling of healthy coping behaviors. As children watch, imitate, and internalize these regulatory strategies, they develop their own ability to manage emotions independently. Thus, the early childhood phase is where children begin to understand and practice emotion regulation, laying the groundwork for lifelong well-being.

By way of example, a caregiver might help a child express disappointment by saying, “I see you’re feeling disappointed because it didn’t work out as hoped. Let’s take a deep breath together and think about what we can do now.” By naming the emotion and providing strategies to cope, caregivers not only validate the child’s feelings but also teach self-soothing techniques that the child can carry forward. Research supports the idea that children who experience consistent co-regulation are better equipped to regulate themselves later in life, as they have repeatedly practiced these skills in a safe, supportive environment.

As children enter adolescence, continued development of these skills becomes especially important. Adolescence is marked by increased independence, social challenges, and emotional intensity, making it a critical time for refining and expanding emotion regulation skills. Studies show that adolescents who are equipped with strong social and emotional skills are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more likely to perform well academically. However, adolescence is also a period when peer relationships become a primary source of influence, and emotional experiences become more intense. Here, co-regulation continues to play a role, as adolescents benefit from mentors, teachers, and peers who model healthy emotional responses and provide a sense of stability. Adolescents who learn to regulate emotions effectively can better manage academic pressures, social dynamics, and their evolving identities, which helps reduce stress and improve mental health.

Emotion regulation skills remain crucial well into adulthood, affecting health, relationships, and professional success. Chronic stress and poor emotion regulation are associated with increased risk for health issues such as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and weakened immune responses. In contrast, individuals who effectively manage their emotions experience lower levels of stress and have better overall health outcomes. In addition to health benefits, social and emotional skills are crucial for fostering positive relationships across one’s life. The skills help individuals communicate effectively, empathize with others, and resolve conflicts constructively. For instance, someone with strong emotion regulation skills will be better equipped to navigate disagreements in a relationship or handle workplace stress without letting emotions spill over into interactions with colleagues. Studies have found that people who effectively manage their emotions tend to have stronger, more supportive social networks, which in turn provides them with resources for handling life’s challenges.

As we age, emotional challenges evolve. Thus, a lifelong practice helps us adapt to new circumstances, whether it’s the stress of a demanding job, the challenges of parenting, or the emotional demands of aging. By fostering social and emotional skills early on and reinforcing them in adolescence and adulthood, we provide individuals with tools to sustain good health, cultivate empathy, maintain rewarding relationships, and achieve goals. As such, a society that values social and emotional development across the lifespan benefits individuals, families, and communities.