Why a sense of belonging matters – Neurodiversity and the Shaping Us Framework

Belonging can be defined as the subjective feeling that you are an integral part of your surrounding systems, including family, friends, school, work environments, communities, cultural groups, and physical places (Hagerty et al, 2002). Feeling like you belong is, hugely powerful. It has an enduring influence on your quality of life – your mental and physical health, education, employment, relationships and social connectedness. Whilst research acknowledges its presence is essential in order to live a ‘good life’, its importance is often overlooked or persistently underestimated by the systems around us.

In the context of the development of the social and emotional skills set out in the Centre for Early Childhood’s Shaping Us Framework, it is vital to ensure every child feels like they belong. Allowing and supporting children and young people to experience and connect with the world around them, in their own unique way, is crucial. By doing this, we create environments which enable the development of the social and emotional skills that we will take with us into adulthood.

Recent research, however, draws attention to the specific challenges associated with neurodivergence and belonging. Robert Chapman and Havi Carel (2022) examine the concept that there is a norm to human functioning and experience and that anything which sits outside of this, is viewed as a dysfunction or deficit.

Is it really accurate to say you cannot live a good life if you do not sit within this norm?

They explore what might happen if rather than assuming a (human) species-norm and pathologizing neurodivergence, it is instead considered from a social and relational perspective:

“By contrast, on models used by neurodiversity proponents, at least a significant part of disablement is societally caused (Oliver, 1990) or the product of complex interactions between individual and society (Shakespeare, 2014)” (Chapman & Carel, 2022, p.617)

Being repeatedly told from a young age that the way we experience the world is wrong or not in line with set and narrow societal norms, can negatively impact our social and emotional development. As a child if you are constantly manoeuvred into a way of being which feels deeply counterintuitive, it can significantly affect your sense of self. We might therefore move into adulthood with a persistent feeling of unease. That somehow, no matter how hard we try, we are just not good enough and we will never truly fit in.

So, let’s instead imagine that from early childhood we were told there is no singular ‘normal’ way of being human. Your preferences, your interests, your sensory experiences, your communication style are all valid. You want to line up and colour code everything in your toy box? Great! You want to mix everything up and create a huge tower? Also great. You thrive on a predictable routine? We’ll make a plan together. You want more flexibility? We’ll make space for that! Do you need support from someone else to help you process your emotions? We’ll be here for you. Do you need time on your own to help you make sense of how you’re feeling? We’ll make sure to respect that.

Instead of having to sit a two-hour exam under intense conditions, what would happen if you were allowed to do an interactive presentation which evidenced, in your own unique way, your understanding of the subject matter? What if exam questions were written from a neurodivergent perspective? What if you were able to freely share your interests with others – those unique, personal passions which make you who you are – without judgement?

‘The presence of belonging, specifically school belonging, has powerful long- and short-term implications for students’ positive psychological and academic outcomes’. (Allen et al., 2022).

Let’s consider for a moment what would happen, if disorders were thought of as differences and deficits didn’t exist? A sense of belonging therefore really does matter. The challenge now, is creating the right conditions for every child, so they spend their lives truly believing they belong.