Our brains and bodies are adaptive. This means we are shaped by our experiences so that we develop to be better suited for the environments we live in. Adaptations in the brain may not always be helpful to us. For example, a child who lives in a dangerous and stressful early environment in the womb or after birth may develop to be more vigilant and have a heightened respond to threat.

Social and emotional development can happen in different ways and at different paces for children. This is not a sign of deficits in some children, but simply a result of the complexity of development and the expected differences between individuals, which bring richness to our society.

The social and emotional skills developed in early childhood are also foundations for the development of a wide range of other abilities, functions, and behaviours. They are the basis of what is known as developmental cascades. This term captures how one basic skill underpins a wide range of other skills across life. For example, being able to communicate underpins many other more specific and complex skills, such as academic abilities.

Some neurodivergent children have specific difficulties with some social and emotional functions. Being neurodivergent can also mean children’s strengths and skills go unrecognised because they present in a different way to other children. Neurodivergent children may be less likely to flourish because environments and settings designed for neurotypical children are less likely to meet their needs. With love, connection, and understanding, we can create the environments, experiences, and relationships that help these children to thrive.

Children who are less able to cope in challenging emotional or social contexts compared to other children at the same developmental stage may have social and emotional problems. For example, whilst all children can struggle with peer-to-peer interactions during early childhood, severe or prolonged problems in cooperating and playing with peers are an indication of social and emotional challenges.

Whilst crying and tantruming will occur in healthily developing children, prolonged and inconsolable crying, or excessive and persistent regular tantrums may be a sign of social and emotional difficulties.

Babies being significantly and persistently withdrawn can be an indication of social and emotional difficulties. No babies and young children will interact with others happily all the time: they do sometimes need downtime and a break from interactions. However, significant, and persistently withdrawn behaviours can be due do developmental delay or experiences of trauma. Babies who rarely cry might sometimes be perceived as “good” babies but might actually be demonstrating social withdrawal resulting from a lack of opportunity to interact, or because they find their environment too stressful and are exhibiting fright or anxiety.

Children who have experienced trauma and adversity might have a heightened “fight or flight” response, as they have learned to be vigilant to risk. These children may exhibit strong reactions under stress, such as freezing, being aggressive towards others or being unable to focus.

Children who exhibit avoidant behaviour around their caregivers (such as preferring a stranger to their caregiver, or not turning to their caregiver for comfort or reassurance when scared or upset), or who seem confused and inconsistent in their attachment behaviours, may be demonstrating that they have experienced inconsistent, intrusive or unresponsive parenting.

All children will need some help to regulate their emotions, but children who are unable to settle after being upset or who exhibit extreme distress at seemingly normal daily moments may have underlying social and emotional problems.

Many toddlers and young children are curious and keen to explore new places. Children who are particularly unwilling to take on independence or explore new places may be exhibiting underlying problems.

Development is not purely about either nature or nurture – the two interact. Children’s development is a dynamic process, and children actively influence their environments. For example, a child’s temperament can shape both how adults respond to them, and how they interpret an adults’ responses. External factors also shape the child’s biology, for example, even before birth, maternal stress in pregnancy can cause a baby’s brain and body to adapt in ways that shape how they later respond to stress.

Good physical health is important to support children’s wellbeing and early brain development, influencing their social and emotional development and the extent to which they can interact positively with the people and world around them.

Good diet and nutrition (including breastfeeding), and a healthy microbiome is associated with better social and emotional development across the population.

Children who are neurodivergent may interpret and respond to the world in different ways to typically developing children and may also find it harder to thrive in a world often designed for typically developing children.

Health problems, disabilities, and global developmental delay can influence a child’s social and emotional development and limit their exposure to growth-promoting experiences and environments. Therefore, it is especially important for those children and their caregivers to receive the extra support they need as early as possible, to minimise the risk of a cascade of secondary difficulties developing.  Children with some conditions will still thrive if people recognise and respond to their individual strengths, needs, and preferences.

Children who have problems or delays in developing other skills, such as language, can have lower social and emotional skills because different aspects of development are so interconnected. As described earlier, language helps children to understand the world around them and talk to others and ask for help when they are frustrated or upset.

Whilst early relationships are critical to development, it is important to recognise that these relationships do not occur in a vacuum. Persistent or transient factors in parents’ lives influence their interactions with their children and can therefore impact children’s social and emotional development.

Parental stress factors can influence child development in a number of ways – for example, without the right support, maternal mental health problems in pregnancy can influence foetal development and might influence parent-child interactions after birth. Adults who did not receive sensitive care in childhood may have more difficulty mentalising and responding to their child’s emotional needs as they may not have a model of what sensitive, responsive care might look like. For adults who may struggle to regulate their own emotions as a result of historical or current trauma or stress, it is hard for them to co-regulate a child or respond sensitively to the child’s emotions.

Technoference refers to how technology can interfere with our relationships and connections in detrimental ways. When parents are distracted by digital devices, they might be less likely to notice and respond to children’s social and emotional cues. Opportunities for the attuned, back-and-forth interactions that build healthy brains are missed. Adults might also be tempted to use digital devices to soothe children, but in doing so are missing opportunities to develop personal connections and teach them how to understand and manage their emotions.

Different types of play can support children’s development in different ways. Play can help children to develop a range of skills and strategies such as focussing attention, curiosity, and creativity. Play can help children learn about themselves and other people, and practice and develop their social interactions.

Taking part in arts and musical activities can support children’s creativity as well as their social and emotional skills:

• Visual arts, dance, and music can help children to understand and express themselves.
• Children can explore, identify, and express emotions through different types of music.
• Music can be calming, lowering stress and supporting emotional regulation.
• Many creative activities require children to focus their attention on a task.
• Making music with others is a shared experience which helps to nurture relationships. Music can also enable children to practice social skills like taking turns and cooperating.

Sharing books can mean reading, but it does not have to involve reading a book from start to finish – it can be using books and the pictures in them as the basis for conversation and play.

Nature or green and blue spaces can:

• offer children more opportunities to explore the world, to be curious and creative, and to experience joy and wonder.
• encourage more challenging activities, like climbing trees, that support them to focus their thoughts and manage their emotions.
• Help children to feel calmer and escaping the distractions of normal life can help to reduce stress levels.