Attachment and social and emotional development
Author: Emily Samuel
When American psychologist Andrew Meltzoff (1977) famously went into a neonatal ward and stuck his tongue out at a 5-hour-old baby, the baby stuck their tongue out right back.
This simple act demonstrated how we are born relational and wired to imitate those around us. John Bowlby (1969), the architect of attachment theory, theorized in the 1950s that we are born with an evolutionary need to form close emotional bonds with a primary caregiver. Contemporary neuroscience increasingly supports Bowlby’s theories, revealing the profound impact of these early relationships on social and emotional skill development throughout the lifespan (e.g. Schore, 2001).
Given the mental health crisis among young people today, it’s more important than ever to think about how to support the mental wellness of tomorrow’s youth. We know that the foundations of mental wellness start prenatally and that early experiences significantly impact the development of brain architecture (e.g. Shonkoff et al., 2012).
Understanding Attachment and its impact on social and emotional development
In developmental psychology, “attachment” refers to how we felt and whether our needs were met in our primary relationships (Ainsworth et al., 1978). If we have a secure attachment with our primary caregivers, we form what Bowlby called an “internal working model,” which makes us feel safe and assured that our needs will be met. This internal framework becomes the foundation for how we approach relationships with both ourselves and others (e.g. Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007). Conversely, insecure attachment styles—such as ambivalent, avoidant, or disorganized, as classified by Mary Ainsworth—profoundly affect individuals’ expectations of themselves and their interactions with the world, potentially leading to enduring adverse outcomes (e.g. Roisman et al., 2004). Attachment styles in early childhood are typically categorised between 12 and 18 months and have been shown to remain relatively stable into later childhood and early adulthood (e.g. Fraley, 2002). This is crucial because attachment style has significant implications for cognition, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, and psychological well-being (e.g. Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).
Attachment is predictive of many social and emotional outcomes such as “engagement in the preschool peer group, the capacity for close friendships in middle childhood, the ability to coordinate friendships and group functioning in adolescence, and the capacity to form trusting, nonhostile romantic relationships in adulthood. Those with secure histories were more socially competent and likelier to be peer leaders” (Sroufe and Siegel 2011, p5). Secure attachments formed during early development also result in improved coping abilities when faced with challenges, leading to greater resilience in children (e.g., Masten, 2001).
If you think about core social and emotional skills, these findings make sense. To regulate yourself, you first need the experience of being soothed and regulated by another (Siegel, 2012; Cozolino, 2014). To learn and engage socially, you need to feel safe, as a brain in survival mode is less receptive to growth. Conflict resolution is learned through modelling, communication, and maintaining self-regulation. All these skills are first learned in our earliest relationships. Resilience – the ability to navigate adversity – stems from a foundation of safety and security. When we trust that our needs will be met, we can draw on these internal experiences to manage difficult situations. While it is possible to develop social and emotional skills without a secure primary relationship, feeling safe, seen, and knowing that your needs will generally be met is critical to the development of these skills. Social and emotional skills do not develop in a vacuum.
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